How To Create A Memorable and Interesting Eulogy
“Although it is difficult today to see beyond the sorrow,
May looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow” - Author unknown
To put it simply, a eulogy is a formal expression of praise for someone who passed away recently. Great eulogies add to the grandeur and the sublimity of a funeral. Some funerals become memorable because of the eloquent and moving eulogies that break upon the audience in tender waves of pain and remembrance. When Princess Di passed away, her brother immortalized her funeral service with this remark, “the greatest irony of her life is that a girl given the name of the ancient goddess of hunting was the most hunted person of the modern age.”
Unfortunately, the ancient art of eulogizing is becoming rarer and rarer. Many families have to make do without a eulogy because of the inability to write or the unwillingness to deliver a eulogy. So, some funerals are forced to fall back upon the clergy for a token eulogy. When the person writing the eulogy does not know the deceased it makes for poor text indeed.
How to write a eulogy:
Writing a eulogy does not have to be an excruciatingly painful experience. After all, a eulogy is a great way to acknowledge and remember a person who has passed away. Eulogies offer some basic information about the deceased. But a eulogy that is an objective rendering of a handful of important dates and events is boring at best, painful at worst.
Primarily, a good eulogy should express genuine feelings of pleasure and pain; pleasure prompted by memories of shared experiences in the past, and pain evoked by a deep sense of loss and futility. Praiseworthy eulogies aim to celebrate the life of the deceased through words that hit the audience somewhere deep inside.
With this objective in mind, some eulogies may be serious while others may be specked with tiny bits of humor. It is wrong to believe that humor is inappropriate during such a somber occasion. Humor puts the audience at ease, and breaks the palpable tension usually felt during funeral services. It gives the audience a welcome break while bringing home the loss of a dear friend or loved one powerfully.
“His cats won’t miss his stroking hand,
Like all cats they will understand
That other hands can open tins
And spoon the meals that purring wins….” - Torr
Make the eulogy clear and simple. The burden of writing the eulogy can be shared. Ask for information and enlist the help of relatives and friends in drawing out interesting and appreciable incidents. Above all, be honest. If you have to eulogize someone with negative traits, remember the old saying that ‘discretion is the better part of valor’. Omit the undesirable parts and if you must mention the negative, (suppose you’re talking about an old dragon of a spinster aunt who loved doling out liberal doses of verbal attack) put a compassionate spin on it.
While delivering the speech, remember it is okay to laugh and cry. No matter what happens, people are usually very accommodative during such occasions. Deliver your text in a calm and relaxed manner. Remind yourself that you are surrounded by loving friends and family, who are with you hundred percent. Make eye contact if possible and allow your audience to respond in whatever fashion they deem right.
Bringing up pain and working through it is one way of dealing with loss. A eulogy is therefore not just a thing of beauty; it is a much needed outlet for feelings that are still raw and throbbing. It’s a celebration of life and a defiance of death - death may take away the body but can never take away the thoughts and emotions associated with the person. It is a last collective goodbye to a person who has gone beyond the horizons of touch and into the realms of thoughts.
About the Author:
Memorial Urns provides the information and resources to help people with end of life planning and details. We offer a wide selection of unique cremation urns and pet urns.
Eulogy Quotes and Sayings about Death ~ D to G
~Doris Day~
The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you’ll grow out of it.
~Denis Leary~
Most people think life sucks, and then you die. Not me. I beg to differ. I think life sucks, then you get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer goes into remission, you get a new dog, you get remarried, you owe ten million dollars in medical bills but you work hard for thirty five years and you pay it back and then one day you have a massive stroke, your whole right side is paralyzed, you have to limp along the streets and speak out of the left side of your mouth and drool but you go into rehabilitation and regain the power to walk and the power to talk and then one day you step off a curb at Sixty-seventh Street, and BANG you get hit by a city bus and then you die. Maybe.
~David Sarnoff~
We cannot banish dangers, but we can banish fears. We must not demean life by standing in awe of death.
~Edvard Munch~
From my rotting body, flowers shall grow and I am in them and that is eternity.
~Edward Young, Night Thoughts~
Our birth is nothing but our death begun.
~Emily Dickinson~
Because I could not stop for Death,
He kindly stopped for me.
The Carriage held but just ourselves
And Immortality
~Emily Bronte~
Oh, for the time when I shall sleep
Without identity.
~Elbert Hubbard~
Die, v.: To stop sinning suddenly.
~Ernest Becker~
The irony of man’s condition is that the deepest need is to be free of the anxiety of death and annihilation; but it is life itself which awakens it, and so we must shrink from being fully alive.
~Ernest Becker~
The idea of death, the fear of it, haunts the human animal like nothing else; it is a mainspring of human activity - designed largely to avoid the fatality of death, to overcome it by denying in some way that it is the final destiny of man.
~Erik H. Erikson~
Healthy children will not fear life if their elders have integrity enough not to fear death.
~Edwin Arnold~
For death,
Now I know, is that first breath
Which our souls draw when we enter
Life, which is of all life center
~Euripides~
No one can confidently say that he will still be living tomorrow.
~Euripides~
Death is a debt we all must pay.
~Francis Bacon, Essays~
Men fear Death, as children fear to go in the dark; and as that natural fear in children is increased with tales, so is the other.
~Friedrich Nietzsche, Expeditions of an Untimely Man~
To die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly. Death of one’s own free choice, death at the proper time, with a clear head and with joyfulness, consummated in the midst of children and witnesses~ so that an actual leave-taking is possible while he who is leaving is still there.
~From the television show Roseanne~
If you spend all your time worrying about dying, living isn’t going to be much fun.
~From the movie Gladiator~
I knew a man who once said, “death smiles at us all; all a man can do is smile back.”
~F. Forrester Church~
Religion is the human response to being alive and having to die.
~Giovanni Falcone~
He who doesn’t fear death dies only once.
~George Gordon, Lord Byron, Childe Harold’s Pilgrimage~
Death, the sable smoke where vanishes the flame.
~Attributed to George Carlin~
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
~George Bernard Shaw~
Death is for many of us the gate of hell; but we are inside on the way out, not outside on the way in.
~George Eliot, The Choir Invisible~
Oh, may I join the choir invisible
Of those immortal dead who live again.~Henry Van Dyke~
Some people are so afraid to die that they never begin to live.
How to Write a Memorable Eulogy
After the passing of a loved one there is such a rush of emotions. Dealing with the loss of that loved one is not only difficult but can be traumatic, without having to stress over the eulogy. You might immediately think, oh my gosh this is going to be so difficult, I really cared about this person and we have had such good times and memories together, how am I going to squeeze a lifetime of experiences into a fifteen minute eulogy.
And that actually is quite a task but all is not lost, and this seemingly impossible task can be done. It is indeed possible with the right method. Remember you want to properly reflect the sparkle in this person’s life and the impact they made in yours.
When writing a eulogy, take your time and think about all the experiences that you shared together. Then think about the ones that best show the character of the deceased; his or hers’ funny sayings, memorable anecdotes, favorite poems and personal mottos.
Make a note of them, as this is what will most likely make it into your speech. Then, if your list of memories is too long, again cut down and retain the experiences that best reflect the nature of the person.
Now comes the fun part, actually writing the speech. Firstly you have to find out whether or not you are the only person giving a eulogy or will there be others and how much time do you have. This is important as it can define the message of the speech or add or cut down the time the speech is given, thus dictating the level of content. Choose the tone of the speech, comical, reverent or both.
Start by giving heartfelt greetings and salutations. Make sure that the grieving family is given a special mention. Also, in the opening portions of the speech you should take the time to introduce yourself. Because it is likely that everyone there might not be aware of whom you are.
Explain your connection to the deceased, how you met and let that flow into the other section of the eulogy, (which is the body) which would contain any poems, experiences anecdotes and sayings or mottos.
When choosing what goes into the body, always choose experiences that are appropriate. Try not to focus too much on the negative areas of that person’s life. We are all human beings and yes we make mistakes, but the funeral or memorial is not a good place to air grievances and expose flaws. This is your opportunity to pay tribute to the good.
When using a personal saying or anecdote, always explain the ideal and idea behind it. Do not leave it up in the air and the meaning a mystery. Write everything you want to say down on cue cards or notes as this can be a very emotional process rehashing the memories of your loved one. Take your time and work through the emotions as best you can. If you can’t finish your speech, hand it to someone you have planned as a backup to read if you so desire.
And finally, end your speech by reiterating to some extent what you have already mentioned. And keep in the same thematic vein. Remember that this is where you want your audience to get the real essence of what you have been saying all the while.
This is your chance to honor someone in death while celebrating their life so make it good take a look at this… http://www.expertsecretspublishing.com/eulogy.html
About the author:
Thara is both a fitness enthusiast and a research/review expert who runs a few fitness websites as well as the very popular www.ultimatelowcarbrecipes.com
Eulogy Speech Origins and Tradition
Derived from the Greek words “eu” which means good and “logo” which means word, a eulogy is defined as a formal expression of praise. More commonly it is described as a spoken or written tribute usually given in honor to someone who died recently.
Death, being a mystery, has confounded humanity since the olden days. Ceremonies for the dead have long been practiced since the ancient times as a ways and means of coping with this mystifying event. In the ancient Roman times, a eulogy in a form of an oratory served as a means of remembrance and a way of honoring the newly departed among the elite of society. The oratories, given usually by the son or a close relative, offered a remembrance of the good deeds, achievements and character of the deceased. A Roman eulogy is always made in a positive tone to reassure the prestige of the bereaved family.
Early Christian eulogies were patterned after the Roman orations but have an added aspect of religious messages of consolation and comfort. Eulogies of the Christian kind discussed scriptural references to death and biblical exhortations while giving honor to dead by dwelling on the deceased’s life on earth and requesting support of the community for the bereaved family. Biblical and scriptural references in eulogies usually focus on the heavens, eternal life and the reunion with loved ones who passed away earlier. Eulogies were performed by church leaders such as priests and pastors as a religious ritual.
Contemporary eulogies are no longer limited as traditional religious ceremonies. Family members and friends provide eulogies in a more human and less religious manner because of their close association with the departed. Some contemporary eulogies are delivered on the lighter and less serious side to lessen the grievous atmosphere of death while still providing comfort and support to family and friends of the departed. Contemporary eulogies also use non contemporary technologies such as video presentations, slide shows, audio recordings, Internet broadcasting and other media.
The advancement of technology through the Internet and the World Wide Web has influenced the delivery and practice of eulogies. Access to numerous resources and websites on eulogy writing, samples of famous eulogies, instant eulogies and funeral sermons are now available online. Advancements in Internet video streaming can also provide a means of transmitting and broadcasting eulogies to family members and friends who could not be present at funerals.
Eulogy Quotes and Sayings about Death ~ A to C
Aeschylus, Agamemnon~
There’s nothing certain in a man’s life except this: That he must lose it.
~Amelia Burr~
Because I have loved life, I shall have no sorrow to die.
~Ambrose Bierce~
Embalm, v.:To cheat vegetation by locking up the gases upon which it feeds. By embalming their dead and thereby deranging the natural balance between animal and vegetable life, the Egyptians made their once fertile and populous country barren and incapable of supporting more than a meagre crew. The modern metallic burial casket is a step in the same direction, and many a dead man who ought now to be ornamenting his neighbor’s lawn as a tree, or enriching his table as a bunch of radishes, is doomed to a long inutility. We shall get him after awhile if we are spared, but in the meantime the violet and the rose are languishing for a nibble at his glutaeus maximus.
~Anais Nin~
People living deeply have no fear of death.
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery~
He who has gone, so we but cherish his memory, abides with us, more potent, nay, more present than the living man.
~Andrew A. Rooney~
Death is a distant rumor to the young.
~Albert Einstein~
Our death is not an end if we can live on in our children and the younger generation. For they are us, our bodies are only wilted leaves on the tree of life.
~Albert Einstein~
Now he has departed from this strange world a little ahead of me. That signifies nothing. For us believing physicists the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.
~Alice Walker~
Life is better than death, I believe, if only because it is less boring, and because it has fresh peaches in it.
~Alice Cary, Dying Hymn~
My soul is full of whispered song;
My blindness is my sight;
The shadows that I feared so long
Are all alive with light.
~Arthur Schopenhauer~
They tell us that suicide is the greatest piece of cowardice… that suicide is wrong; when it is quite obvious that there is nothing in the world to which every man has a more unassailable title than to his own life and person.
~Ashley Montagu~
The idea is to die young as late as possible.
~Author Unknown~
God pours life into death and death into life without a drop being spilled.
~Author Unknown~
There is always death and taxes; however, death doesn’t get worse every year.
~Author Unknown~
Death is life’s way of telling you you’re fired.
~Bill Maher, on Politically Incorrect, 1995~
Suicide is man’s way of telling God, “You can’t fire me - I quit.”
~C.G. Jung~
To the psychotherapist an old man who cannot bid farewell to life appears as feeble and sickly as a young man who is unable to embrace it.
~Charlotte Perkins Gilman~
It is told that Buddha, going out to look on life, was greatly daunted by death. “They all eat one another!” he cried, and called it evil. This process I examined, changed the verb, said, “They all feed one another,” and called it good.
~Charles Sanders Peirce~
If man were immortal he could be perfectly sure of seeing the day when everything in which he had trusted should betray his trust, and, in short, of coming eventually to hopeless misery. He would break down, at last, as every good fortune, as every dynasty, as every civilization does. In place of this we have death.
~Charles Hanson Towne~
Thou art not dead! Thou art the whole
Of life that quickens in the sod.
~Charlotte Perkins Gilman~
Death? Why this fuss about death. Use your imagination, try to visualize a world without death! … Death is the essential condition of life, not an evil.
~Charles de Gaulle~
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
~Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club~
On a large enough time line, the survival rate for everyone will drop to zero.
Few Words About Eulogy Poems
A eulogy poem is a special form of prose written to offer comfort to the bereaved. Since death is a certain fact that in most cases would cause grief and bereavement to the deceased’s family, the existence and creation of eulogies is also certain. Because of this fact, eulogy poem writing has found its niche as a specialty subject available in the World Wide Web through various bereavement focused sites.
Writing eulogy poems usually do not follow a certain rigid format but a few sensible tips would be of great help. Since a death is always associated with a painful loss, poems should be in an uplifting and inspirational tone. As much as the poem is written as a tribute to the deceased, it should also be considered as a reassurance to the living.
A poem attributed to Mary E. Frye entitled “Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep”, presents a poignant plea of reassurance from the departed for the living not to weep for the dead did not die but has become part of the world as fragments of light, wind and rain. This type of short poem exemplifies the theme of reassurance to the living that death is not the cessation of life but a continuation.
“An Irish Funeral Prayer,” derived from a sermon delivered in 1910 by Henry Scott Holland during the funeral of King Edward VII at Westminster, has been used for years in Irish and Christian funeral services. In the same tone as the poem by Frye, this poem also speaks of reassurance when part of it says “I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner”. A way of saying that there lies a promise of a reunion of the dead and the living in another place and another time.
Free resources and free sample eulogy poems abound on the World Wide Web which can be used as inspiration or as templates for your very own. A poem because it comes from the heart, is a fitting tribute to the dead and the living to be remembered in time. Eulogy poems have a global message that crosses cultural boundaries. A poem you write for someone you know of might just bring the same reassuring message to other families who suffer through death. If you are gifted with the blessing and talent of writing poetry for the dead, share it.
Eulogy Writing Tips
The deliverance of the Eulogy is one of the highlight of a funeral. This is the moment where every surviving family members and friends reflects on the life, accomplishment and some anecdotes about the life of the deceased person. It is fitting that the eulogy speech should be written and then spoken straight from the speaker’s heart.
The main purpose of eulogy is to find something to celebrate and remember about the life of the deceased person. Write something about his achievements, dreams, fascinations and fond memories shared with the deceased person that will forever endear more the deceased person’s memory to those present at the funeral. The eulogy that you will write should include other snippets about the person’s life according to his/her close relatives and friends.
For example include the fondest memories shared with the deceased like for example you were delivering a eulogy for a person named Alex.
“Alex’s college roommate and best friend Larry told me about the time Alex found out about Larry’s depression over his break up with his girlfriend. Larry told me that Alex made every possible attempt to help them get back together, this includes Alex driving and accompanying Larry 300 miles to Boston so that Larry and his ex girlfriend could patch things together, now 25 years later, Larry is still happily married to that very same girl, all thanks to Alex”.
Remember a eulogy is somehow a summary of all the great things in the life of the deceased person. It’s a sober yet inspiring, memorable and unforgettable at the same time.
You can write your eulogy in different parts or sections like the following:
Life Summary
Write a short eulogy detailing the summary of deceased person’s life that will reveal their previously unknown side. This kind of eulogy should give a welcome opportunity to remember with fondness moments of bliss in a time of great bereavement.
Paying Tribute
Write a collection of tribute highlighting the achievements the deceased person have accomplished in his life.
Fondest Memories
This is where you write your stand out memories of the deceased person. Memories that will honor them more and make others remember their own fondest memories of the deceased person.
Legacy
This is where you write and pour out everything that the deceased person have stood for in his life, his beliefs and the legacy that he/she will leave behind. This usually includes charitable works, children, projects and other community activities that were done by the deceased person.
Funeral Poems
Funerals and the many customs associated with marking the passing of a loved one allow people to express sadness over their loss. During times of grief and change, people often turn to different forms of art to help them heal and to express their pain. Usually, a close friend or family member is asked to deliver a memorial speech, also called a eulogy to honor the deceased. Today, a eulogy can take the form of a speech, a letter and even a poem. Writing a funeral poem as part of a eulogy, to display at the visitation or for your own comfort allows you to use the art of language to convey what you’re feeling.
Writing a funeral poem If you choose to write a funeral poem, decide first who the poem will be shared with. Will the poem be for your own personal use or will it be for a group of people sharing the loss of a loved one? If the poem is a private expression to help you address your own feelings, you can be more liberal in what you write. Private verses allow you to be completely open about how the deceased’s passing makes you feel. This personal type of poetry allows you to write about more intimate or private memories that you may not be comfortable sharing with others. Don’t feel that you have to write what others want to hear - just be honest in your writing and people will appreciate your thoughts and words. If you’ve decided to share your poem with others, be sure to consider the thoughts and feelings of others as you write.
Gathering your thoughts After you’ve decided the purpose and audience of your poem, take some quiet time to let your thoughts flow. Think about the memories you have of your friend or family member - your fondest times spent together, their personality, passions and life achievements. Don’t feel hampered by rhyme structures or worry about your writing skills - simply let the word come; a funeral poem that takes the form of a verse, a letter or a speech is perfectly suitable. Delivering a funeral poem Usually, a funeral poem is read during the funeral service. If you choose to deliver your poem during the service, bring a copy of the poem to read from. Trying to memorize touching words while you’re coping with a host of emotions is very difficult. It can be even harder to remember the words if your voice falters or if you’re uncomfortable speaking in front of a group. Be sure to write legibly in large type and take some time to review the poem carefully several times.
You may prefer not to read your poem aloud, but still share it with others. Consider writing out the poem and displaying it in a frame at the visitation. Many funeral homes offer memorial pamphlets to mourners. Heartfelt words can be a touching addition to any funeral program or pamphlet and are often kept as mementos.
If you’ve chosen to write a funeral poem just for yourself you can preserve the poem in a frame on its own or behind a picture. Some families choose to place a memorial announcement in their local newspaper a year after the loved one’s passing. This is another option if you feel more comfortable sharing your writing after some time has passed.
Inspiration If you’re not sure where to begin, we suggest reading a few of the classic poems below. Some of these poems are about loss and grieving and others are about honoring life. They can be used as inspiration, or can be read at the funeral if you’re having difficulty putting your own thoughts into words.
* Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep - Mary Frye
* All is Well - Henry Scott Holland
* Death, Be Not Proud - John Donne
* The Tide Rises, The Tide Falls - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
* The Oak - Alfred Lord Tennyson
* No Coward Soul is Mine - Emily Bronte
* Remember - Christina Rossetti
* A Parable of Immortality - Henry Van Dyke
Funeral poems are a very personal expression of your loss. While they can be touching and comforting for others to hear, thoughts and emotions can also be difficult to capture on paper. Talk to other people who were close to the departed if you need inspiration for your poem - this will help inspire you and allow you to share your memories with others.
Gwendolyn Ladd is a writer for the online funeral planning resource funeralplanning101.com. Her grandmother’s recent passing has given Gwen insight into the various responsibilities associated with funeral planning.
Eulogy Quotes and Sayings about Death ~ S to W
~Samuel Butler~
To himself everyone is immortal; he may know that he is going to die, but he can never know that he is dead.
~Seneca~
The day which we fear as our last is but the birthday of eternity.
~Sigmund Freud~
The goal of all life is death.
~Socrates~
Death may be the greatest of all human blessings.
~Susan Ertz, Anger in the Sky~
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
~Steven Stiles~
God made death so we’d know when to stop.
~Steven Wright~
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
~Stewart Alsop~
A dying man needs to die, as a sleepy man needs to sleep, and there comes a time when it is wrong, as well as useless, to resist.
~Tennessee Williams, “The Rose Tattoo”~
Time rushes towards us with its hospital tray of infinitely varied narcotics, even while it is preparing us for its inevitably fatal operation.
~Thomas Browne, An Essay on Death~
I do not believe that any man fears to be dead, but only the stroke of death.
~Toni Morrison~
Birth, life, and death — each took place on the hidden side of a leaf.
~Thomas Mann, The Magic Mountain~
A man’s dying is more the survivors’ affair than his own.
~The Epic of Gilgamesh~
You will never find that life for which you are looking. When the gods created man they allotted to him death, but life they retained in their own keeping.
~W. Somerset Maugham~
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
~Wilson Mizner~
I want a priest, a rabbi, and a Protestant clergyman. I want to hedge my bets.
~Willa Cather~
I shall not die of a cold. I shall die of having lived.
~Winston Churchill~
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
~Wilfred Sheed, The Good Word, 1978~
Suicide is… the sincerest form of criticism life gets.
~Witter Bynner, “The Patient to the Doctors”~
Name me no names for my disease,
With uninforming breath;
I tell you I am none of these,
But homesick unto death.
~William Penn~
For death is no more than a turning of us over from time to eternity.