How to Deliver a Eulogy - Some Simple Things to Remember
Public speaking does not come easy, but delivering an eulogy you have written may be the most difficult task you have taken upon yourself to do. Regardless if the eulogy is about a loved one, a co-worker, a friend, while you are grieving the last thing you desire to do is stand up in front of a group of people you may or may not know and bare your soul, emotions and your grief. To do all this, while being coherent enough to express how deeply departed one has touched your soul and doing justice to his or her memory is a difficult task indeed. Whether you decide to deliver a serious speech or to concentrate on more humorous anecdotes, write down some notes to help you remember. In trying times it can be a struggle to keep your composure, however making notes will help you focus.
Also while it would be possible to go on for hours how this particular person touched your life, it is advisable to keep it relatively short so that the message you are trying to convey is clear, precise and sticks in the mind of listeners.
Even if you do not suffer from public speaking nerves, it would be a good idea to practice giving your eulogy in front of a family member or a friend. In case that makes you nervous or uncomfortable, practice in front of a mirror. And if you feel that the grief may overtake you, ask a friend or a family member to stand in and read your eulogy. Just having someone else on the stand – by will put your mind at ease.
Lastly, do not forget to breathe and just be yourself. Yes, it is difficult to say good-bye, to let go of a loved one, however you have an unlimited source of strength inside you to call upon. While eulogy is about your memories and your perception of the deceased keep in mind that eulogy is a tribute to the person who has passed on. And if all of your practice fails and you cry, that is alright too. Remember even if it is a sea of strangers in front of you, not one person will judge you for it. If it helps, concentrate on one person in the audience that you know and love and speak to them. Take a moment, compose yourself and continue with the speech. It is a tribute, do it justice.
How to Write and Give a Eulogy Speech
Fortunately, I have never had to deliver a eulogy. However, I have had to go through a couple of deaths. That includes the death of my five year old nephew’s last August. There can be different types of eulogies and depending on the situation may alter what kind of eulogy you may want to give. I have seen eulogies of people have memorable and humorous eulogies. If they have suffered through illness or had a long life, this is often the case. My nephews’ eulogy, given by my sister, was extremely serious. Depending on the type of situation, you might want to tailor the eulogy around that.
You should always take into account what other family members might feel while the eulogy is being given. Personally, I would recommend straying away from anything that might make them feel embarrassed. Every story you tell, in my opinion, should be honorable to the deceased. Another thing to remember is that the eulogy can be given by someone who was not particularly close. If this is the case, always try to bring in a story that would tie in people who he or she is closest to. This is something that I am sure they will greatly appreciate. Humorous perhaps might be okay here to relieve some of the crying and grief.
By all means, eulogies should always be written with respect to the deceased. I have seen in the past family members or other people in the service getting upset by what someone had said. I have heard stories that kind of make you wonder if they were given out of honor for the persons life or not. In no way would most people want to give something like that so it is very important to sit down and write what you want to say. Putting some thought and preparation into each sentence will allow you to come up with something nice and something that people will remember for years to come.
Learn more about eulogies.
Download prewritten eulogy templates.
Visualize Conquering Fear of Public Speaking
I’m convinced that it’s nearly impossible to get through life without speaking in public. Perhaps you are asked to give a toast at a wedding. Maybe you want to give a eulogy at a dear friend’s funeral. Maybe you’re invited to speak to a group of potential contributors for the charitable organization you’re a part of. Maybe you are called upon to speak to your peers at work to give an update on your department’s progress.
Whatever the case may be, there are so many situations in life where we could find ourselves standing in front of a group of people and trying to inform or persuade them. How would you do in that situation?
For some, the fear of public speaking is debilitating enough for them to do whatever is necessary to get out of the situation. For many, that fear causes extreme anxiety but they push through and speak anyway. Being able to speak effectively means potentially advancing in your work or social life or bringing honor to the deserving person you’re speaking about. It’s important, then, to be able to speak effectively and to overcome your fear.
One way to help you is with a visualization technique. I advise people who are planning on presenting to visualize themselves taking the stage and giving an incredible presentation. The result? They feel the scenario long before they deal with it and they enjoy the visualized success. This builds confidence and having confidence helps to create actual success. Here’s how you an visualize your way to a successful presentation:
First, imagine that you’re sitting there in the room. Imagine the room and its surroundings in detail, including the sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and temperature. Are there others nearby? Is someone wearing perfume? Did you just drink the too-strong coffee? Picture the scenario exactly as you expect it to be.
Next, imagine yourself being called to the stage in the manner that will likely happen. Sometimes it’s an introduction by the Master of Ceremonies, or maybe it’s a glowing report by your manager. Imagine yourself standing and walking to the stage. In your imagination, think about every step you’ll take and each breath you inhale and exhale as you go.
Now, imagine taking the stage and beginning your speech. Imagine the speech in detail: visualize yourself speaking, thinking on the spot, interacting with the audience. Don’t gloss over your speech, but actually deliver it while doing this visualization exercise. Imagine yourself hearing your voice booming over the audio system. Imagine yourself referencing some of the visuals that you might have with you. Imagine the sights and sounds that you’ll experience as you present.
Lastly, imagine the audience. As you present, visualize them enthusiastically responding to you. Imagine them nodding in agreement or writing copious notes because of what you have to say. And finally, imagine them applauding enthusiastically as you finish and then rushing out to perform the ultimate action you want them to take (for example, to donate money to your cause or to buy the product you’re selling). Visualization: it’s an effective way to practice your presentation.
Deborah Torres Patel is an internationally acclaimed Voice & Presentation Coach. Sign up for a complimentary 35 lesson voice & presentation skills online training course at http://www.expressingyou.com. To dramatically reduce fear of public speaking, register for 20 free lessons at http://www.fearlessinfive.com.