How to Write an Eulogy – Where to Start When Writing
A eulogy is a speech written to be read at funerals, to commemorate the memory of a departed one. Speech writing can be daunting at the best of times, but when you are in the midst of grieving process, it can be extremely difficult to compose yourself enough to write a eulogy worthy of your loved one. After all, it is considered a great honor to be asked to write a eulogy and while the whole purpose of an eulogy is to speak from the heart while commemorating the person who has passed away, there are a few things to remember to help you along with writing an eulogy.
The best way to start is to collect all the necessary biographical information about the person who has passed away and this can be done with a help of other family members, friends, co-workers. This will help you not only to gather all the information to be included or mentioned in the eulogy, but also to enable you to decide early on the tone your writing will take. Some people opt for giving a serious speech about accomplishments achieved by the deceased in his/her lifetime, while others can decide to take on a more humorous tone remembering the fun times, the good memories and the laughter shared.
The best eulogy would be a combination of both mentioned above, done in good taste and with a positive outlook. When you are grieving, it is normal that your thoughts are about death, but remember it is about celebrating a life lived as well. Collecting the information is also a good way to start as it will force you to write some things down. It will take a little time to make it perfect, so do not get frustrated if you are unable to write eulogy in one sitting.
Also writing down the information will help you to observe the flow of your eulogy.
Remember to be sincere, as it will be felt by the congregation. Give your eulogy to a family member or a friend to get their feedback, so you can edit if it is necessary. Once you are done with the writing, practice a few times in front of a family member, a friend, even a mirror will suffice.
How To Create A Memorable and Interesting Eulogy
“Although it is difficult today to see beyond the sorrow,
May looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow” – Author unknown
To put it simply, a eulogy is a formal expression of praise for someone who passed away recently. Great eulogies add to the grandeur and the sublimity of a funeral. Some funerals become memorable because of the eloquent and moving eulogies that break upon the audience in tender waves of pain and remembrance. When Princess Di passed away, her brother immortalized her funeral service with this remark, “the greatest irony of her life is that a girl given the name of the ancient goddess of hunting was the most hunted person of the modern age.”
Unfortunately, the ancient art of eulogizing is becoming rarer and rarer. Many families have to make do without a eulogy because of the inability to write or the unwillingness to deliver a eulogy. So, some funerals are forced to fall back upon the clergy for a token eulogy. When the person writing the eulogy does not know the deceased it makes for poor text indeed.
How to write a eulogy:
Writing a eulogy does not have to be an excruciatingly painful experience. After all, a eulogy is a great way to acknowledge and remember a person who has passed away. Eulogies offer some basic information about the deceased. But a eulogy that is an objective rendering of a handful of important dates and events is boring at best, painful at worst.
Primarily, a good eulogy should express genuine feelings of pleasure and pain; pleasure prompted by memories of shared experiences in the past, and pain evoked by a deep sense of loss and futility. Praiseworthy eulogies aim to celebrate the life of the deceased through words that hit the audience somewhere deep inside.
With this objective in mind, some eulogies may be serious while others may be specked with tiny bits of humor. It is wrong to believe that humor is inappropriate during such a somber occasion. Humor puts the audience at ease, and breaks the palpable tension usually felt during funeral services. It gives the audience a welcome break while bringing home the loss of a dear friend or loved one powerfully.
“His cats won’t miss his stroking hand,
Like all cats they will understand
That other hands can open tins
And spoon the meals that purring wins….” – Torr
Make the eulogy clear and simple. The burden of writing the eulogy can be shared. Ask for information and enlist the help of relatives and friends in drawing out interesting and appreciable incidents. Above all, be honest. If you have to eulogize someone with negative traits, remember the old saying that ‘discretion is the better part of valor’. Omit the undesirable parts and if you must mention the negative, (suppose you’re talking about an old dragon of a spinster aunt who loved doling out liberal doses of verbal attack) put a compassionate spin on it.
While delivering the speech, remember it is okay to laugh and cry. No matter what happens, people are usually very accommodative during such occasions. Deliver your text in a calm and relaxed manner. Remind yourself that you are surrounded by loving friends and family, who are with you hundred percent. Make eye contact if possible and allow your audience to respond in whatever fashion they deem right.
Bringing up pain and working through it is one way of dealing with loss. A eulogy is therefore not just a thing of beauty; it is a much needed outlet for feelings that are still raw and throbbing. It’s a celebration of life and a defiance of death – death may take away the body but can never take away the thoughts and emotions associated with the person. It is a last collective goodbye to a person who has gone beyond the horizons of touch and into the realms of thoughts.
About the Author:
Memorial Urns provides the information and resources to help people with end of life planning and details. We offer a wide selection of unique cremation urns and pet urns.
How to Write a Memorable Eulogy
After the passing of a loved one there is such a rush of emotions. Dealing with the loss of that loved one is not only difficult but can be traumatic, without having to stress over the eulogy. You might immediately think, oh my gosh this is going to be so difficult, I really cared about this person and we have had such good times and memories together, how am I going to squeeze a lifetime of experiences into a fifteen minute eulogy.
And that actually is quite a task but all is not lost, and this seemingly impossible task can be done. It is indeed possible with the right method. Remember you want to properly reflect the sparkle in this person’s life and the impact they made in yours.
When writing a eulogy, take your time and think about all the experiences that you shared together. Then think about the ones that best show the character of the deceased; his or hers’ funny sayings, memorable anecdotes, favorite poems and personal mottos.
Make a note of them, as this is what will most likely make it into your speech. Then, if your list of memories is too long, again cut down and retain the experiences that best reflect the nature of the person.
Now comes the fun part, actually writing the speech. Firstly you have to find out whether or not you are the only person giving a eulogy or will there be others and how much time do you have. This is important as it can define the message of the speech or add or cut down the time the speech is given, thus dictating the level of content. Choose the tone of the speech, comical, reverent or both.
Start by giving heartfelt greetings and salutations. Make sure that the grieving family is given a special mention. Also, in the opening portions of the speech you should take the time to introduce yourself. Because it is likely that everyone there might not be aware of whom you are.
Explain your connection to the deceased, how you met and let that flow into the other section of the eulogy, (which is the body) which would contain any poems, experiences anecdotes and sayings or mottos.
When choosing what goes into the body, always choose experiences that are appropriate. Try not to focus too much on the negative areas of that person’s life. We are all human beings and yes we make mistakes, but the funeral or memorial is not a good place to air grievances and expose flaws. This is your opportunity to pay tribute to the good.
When using a personal saying or anecdote, always explain the ideal and idea behind it. Do not leave it up in the air and the meaning a mystery. Write everything you want to say down on cue cards or notes as this can be a very emotional process rehashing the memories of your loved one. Take your time and work through the emotions as best you can. If you can’t finish your speech, hand it to someone you have planned as a backup to read if you so desire.
And finally, end your speech by reiterating to some extent what you have already mentioned. And keep in the same thematic vein. Remember that this is where you want your audience to get the real essence of what you have been saying all the while.
This is your chance to honor someone in death while celebrating their life so make it good take a look at this… http://www.expertsecretspublishing.com/eulogy.html
About the author:
Thara is both a fitness enthusiast and a research/review expert who runs a few fitness websites as well as the very popular www.ultimatelowcarbrecipes.com
Eulogy Writing Tips
The deliverance of the Eulogy is one of the highlight of a funeral. This is the moment where every surviving family members and friends reflects on the life, accomplishment and some anecdotes about the life of the deceased person. It is fitting that the eulogy speech should be written and then spoken straight from the speaker’s heart.
The main purpose of eulogy is to find something to celebrate and remember about the life of the deceased person. Write something about his achievements, dreams, fascinations and fond memories shared with the deceased person that will forever endear more the deceased person’s memory to those present at the funeral. The eulogy that you will write should include other snippets about the person’s life according to his/her close relatives and friends.
For example include the fondest memories shared with the deceased like for example you were delivering a eulogy for a person named Alex.
“Alex’s college roommate and best friend Larry told me about the time Alex found out about Larry’s depression over his break up with his girlfriend. Larry told me that Alex made every possible attempt to help them get back together, this includes Alex driving and accompanying Larry 300 miles to Boston so that Larry and his ex girlfriend could patch things together, now 25 years later, Larry is still happily married to that very same girl, all thanks to Alex”.
Remember a eulogy is somehow a summary of all the great things in the life of the deceased person. It’s a sober yet inspiring, memorable and unforgettable at the same time.
You can write your eulogy in different parts or sections like the following:
Life Summary
Write a short eulogy detailing the summary of deceased person’s life that will reveal their previously unknown side. This kind of eulogy should give a welcome opportunity to remember with fondness moments of bliss in a time of great bereavement.
Paying Tribute
Write a collection of tribute highlighting the achievements the deceased person have accomplished in his life.
Fondest Memories
This is where you write your stand out memories of the deceased person. Memories that will honor them more and make others remember their own fondest memories of the deceased person.
Legacy
This is where you write and pour out everything that the deceased person have stood for in his life, his beliefs and the legacy that he/she will leave behind. This usually includes charitable works, children, projects and other community activities that were done by the deceased person.